Oct 224 min read

I’M OBSESSED WITH YOU

Nina Sayers, Andrew Neiman & Maxine Minx: The obsession with perfection.

By: Francesca Jaques

In the first grade, I learned what it meant to be a "perfectionist." My classmates described it as being "flawless." They said to be a "perfectionist," you have to keep everything "neat" and "perfect." I watched those words dance around, wishing they could apply to me. I wanted to be that. I wanted to be clean, neat, perfect—flawless. In a split second, my dreams changed. Perfection became the goal. As I matured, I left a lot of juvenile ideas behind. But never the ideal of the perfectionist. I carried her with me every day and see her every day. Obsession is everywhere. Obsession kills, it consumes, and it can make you a star. Just like it killed Nina Sayers, consumed Andrew Neiman, and made Maxine Minx a star.

"Perfect. It was perfect." - Nina Sayers' last words in Darren Aronofsky's Black Swan (2010)

Image Credit: Pinterest

Enveloped in blood and drained of all color, Nina utters Black Swan's finishing line: "Perfect. It was perfect." In that instant, she released the last shred of herself—her body. Although this was the moment of Nina's physical death, her soul was already dead.

Darren Aronofsky's Black Swan follows the horrifying psychological ruin of Nina Sayers, a talented yet fragile ballerina killed by the role of Swan Queen—a combination of the white & black swans, the epitome of divinity and sensuality. The Swan Queen represented everything Nina wanted but couldn't have, so she did whatever it took to attain her dream role. She starved herself, grew cruel, and unraveled mentally until she spiraled into a schizophrenic nightmare where she could no longer distinguish reality from delusion.

Nina's downfall began during her relentless pursuit of something unattainable, on her internal search to embody both the ethereal white swan and the tantalizing black swan. Like many of us do, she searched for a duality in herself, a complexity, a magnetism that she just didn't have. In her quest to become something else, she completely lost herself. She lost everything when her obsession wasn't just to be the best; it was to transcend everything she knew about herself.

"I'd rather die drunk, broke at 34, and have people at a dinner table talk about me than live to be rich and sober at 90 and nobody remembered who I was." - Andrew Neiman in Whiplash (2014)

Damien Chazelle created Andrew Neiman to ruin him. A character like Andrew is meant to feed other people; his talent is meant to be consumed for our pleasure. Andrew was trained to do whatever it took to satisfy his audience until he lost his sense of self. In Whiplash, Andrew Neiman isn't just a prodigy; he's a vessel for the ambitions and sadism of others, especially his mentor, Fletcher.

Whiplash is about Andrew Neiman, a once-in-a-generation drummer whose talent earned him a spot in a prestigious studio band. Under the toxic mentorship of Terrence Fletcher, Andrew is pushed to the brink of insanity. What sets Andrew apart from most obsessive characters is that he never believed he had any potential. His self-worth is systematically and ruthlessly dismantled throughout the film. This intense insecurity made him frugal with his body, and he felt he had nothing to give. So, he was willing to let it all go for one singular win.

The most tragic part of Andrew's story is that he had everything. He had a supportive family, a kind girlfriend, and undeniable talent. Yet, he minimized it all, giving it away for the sake of his audience. He tried to convince himself (and us) that his family didn't appreciate him, his girlfriend was a distraction, and he wasn't good enough to be great. But in reality, it wasn't their lack of understanding or support that led to his downfall; it was his own obsession and the constant need to prove his worth. He sacrificed everything to feel appreciated and heard.

"I will not accept a life I do not deserve." - Maxine Minx in Maxxxine (2024) & X (2022)

Image Credit: ABC News

Sparking stardom. That was the only life Maxine Minx from Ti West's Maxxxine would accept. In the second chronological film of the horror trilogy, X, Maxine reverses a pickup truck over a 77-year-old's skull to guarantee that she will get the life that she deserves.

Maxine's story of obsession is different. She wasn't consumed by insecurity or the fear of not being good enough; rather, she knew she was destined for fame–she just had to grasp it. You can almost feel her insatiable hunger through the screen. You can taste just how bad she wants it. She was her own puppet master, pulling her own strings with ruthless precision. She sold her body like a commodity, performed for the right eyes, and crafted a perfect facade, breathing life into a hollow shell that spoke the words needed to reach stardom. Every move calculated, every smile rehearsed, all in service of her obsession.

And she was rewarded for it. Maxine Minx became the star she knew she was since birth. Every act of violence and every line crossed wasn't just a display of her desperation but a testament to her unwavering ambition.

Maxine was special. She allowed herself to meet insanity without losing everything. She pushed her lines with a clear mind. Maxine didn't lose who she was, she became more focused, more precise.

"If people knew how hard I worked to get my mastery, it wouldn't seem so wonderful at all." - Michelangelo

Everyone has a line. For Nina Sayers, it was millimeters thin. She crossed that line the moment that she tried to dance further than she could. For Andrew Neiman, it was thicker, but still crossed. Andrew crossed that line when he lost faith in his own potential. Maxine Minx's line was miles wide. She did cartwheels on it and somersaulted in her self-worth.

Nina, Andrew, and Maxine faced their breaking points in different ways. Nina wasn't the weakest, nor was Maxine the strongest. They were built with different thresholds, each capable of being pushed only so far. We all are. Give yourself grace, because if you push yourself to the top, you will never forget the blood, violence, and pain that came from the climb. Ambition doesn't need to be reckless.

Francesca Jaques is an online writer for Rowdy Magazine. She describes herself as extremely kind, effortlessly funny, hauntingly beautiful, and humble. IG: @francescajaques13 EMAIL: tutijaques@gmail.com