Robert Pattinson Isn’t Like Other Boys

The feral behavior adds a little spice.

( Photostill from the movie The Devil All The Time)

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Oh, R-Pattz., The unknowing boyfriend to millions of teenagers in 2008 has found himself with a harem of similar magnitude. After facing recent success in Oscar-nominated The Lighthouse starring opposite Willam Defoe, Robbie has charmed his way into noteworthy upcoming films like The Batman.

Little did we know, our husband’s slightly manic character in The Lighthouse was less an act and more reality. His reclaimed popularity also led to a slew of memes and stories of his previous work.

Let’s cut to the chase. We’re all thinking of THAT picture of him. You know the one.

He embodies the entire British TikTok chav check effortlessly. His grace lies within the lack thereof. His eyes...ones we’re so familiar with; The lights are on but nobody's home. In what crevasse of the internet did this picture arise in and why the hell does it live in my head rent-free?

It’s actually a behind-the-scenes image from Pattinson’s 2017 film Good Time. The director, Josh Safdie, uploaded the enchanting image to Instagram as promotional content for the movie. Safdie, thank you for reminding me of my past love and bless you for bringing his unhinged behavior to light.

TikTokers did as TikTokers do and ran with this image to make the best, and as far as I’m aware, the only important content on the app.

R-Pattz’ appeal extends far beyond his looks — The man is feral.

Bobert Pattinson’s Spanish stalker is certainly one of his most notable tales. In 2009, he was filming a movie in Spain when he noticed he had a stalker outside his apartment for weeks. Rather than call security, he ended up taking her out for dinner where he proceeded to complain[] about everything in [his] life and she never came back.” Um...yeah that’s one way to get rid of an obsessive fan?

Of course, there’s more. Patty-Boy stated in a Vanity Fair interview with Jennifer Lopez, “If I was going after parts which seem somehow relatable to my real self, I would be consistently playing chronically insecure losers.” Fine enough on its own, Rob continued to reason why he sought movies he was less than qualified for.  

“Something I was trying to find for years was to do a ballet movie,” he said. “And then my agent was like, ‘Why? Do you know how to ballet?’ I’m like, ‘No.’”

I mean vibes babe, but I’m also not actively seeking out roles in the Paris Opera Ballet. Qualifications: passionate, excited, knows how to pronounce the word pointe.

Rob finishes his anecdote by saying “I think there’s a ballerina inside me.” That’s my bae:; artistic, driven, and a little bit disconnected with reality.

From sparkly, possessive vampire to grimy, undomesticated acteur, Robert Pattinson has managed to worm his way as a permanent resident in my heart. And you know what: as he should. As he should.

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Kaylinn Escobar is a Staff Writer at Rowdy Magazine. She's fond of underrated claymation, sitting in extravagant chairs, and yearning to the sound of the 2005 Pride and Prejudice soundtrack. She adores classics, healthcare, and re-told historical fiction. Reach out to her at kaylinnescobar@ufl.edu for more info.