Roommate Horror Stories

All the horrid, gruesome and sexually deviant details you could ask for

By: Vanessa Norris

Moving away for college is a huge jump for most young adults. Everything is fresh, liberating and slightly overwhelming — being away from your parents, interacting with new people, realizing that yes, you can get that drunk.

It’s like what they say — college is where you figure out who you are in this world. For many people, it’s also where you discover that the worst person on Earth is none other than your roommate.

Luckily for me, the girl that DMed me on Instagram in March 2024 didn’t turn out to be a complete psycho. She lets me rant nonsensically about my problems and is now one of my favorite people (shoutout Libby).

Unfortunately, people who share my experience are in the minority. I advise all you lucky ones to give your roommate an uncomfortably tight hug as soon as you can—after reading some of these stories, you’ll be grateful beyond belief.

After reflecting on the testimonies I’ve gathered via anonymous survey, I’ve concluded that an evil roommate usually fits into one of three categories: the revolting, the horny or the bat-shit crazy. If you’re reading these and thinking that maybe one of them applies to you, I’ll happily break it to you— you’re the problem.

The Revolting

The most common evil roommate there is. They’re often hidden behind a perfectly curated Instagram feed, a pretty face and a friendly personality. The semester probably starts off decent, but then they get comfortable. Letting some laundry pile up after a hectic week? Sure. Leaving food out for days and not cleaning up your puke? Be better.

“She threw up in her bed and slept in it and then pretended like nothing happened, she thought she was better than me because she was in a top tier sorority.”

“He never does his own dishes, leaving it for me and our other roommates to deal with. I looked in the sink to find half-eaten seafood, curdled milk and plastic wrappers left in the sink overnight. I had to do the dishes as I was the only one home and couldn’t handle the smell. After doing the dishes the entire apartment still stunk for hours, with open windows and Febreeze not doing much at all. I’m not surprised though, because this is the same person who leaves cooked chicken out for two days straight and still eats it later.”

“My freshman year roommate did not clean the apartment or shower ONCE. I’m a very type-B person so I didn’t mind picking up the slack, until I came back to the apartment to the shower floor being COVERED with PUBES.”

“She brought Norovirus, mono, pink eye and the flu into the dorm all within a week.”

“My freshman year roommate used to never take out the trash, never dust, clean or sweep so her side of the room was always sticky and dusty, ate food only in the room so the room constantly smelled of food.”

The Horny

Look, I get it. Sometimes you’re really down bad for someone. But, despite your horniness or need to attract someone’s attention, keep some unspoken boundaries in mind. Let’s be real, there are plenty of places to fornicate on a college campus. Spare your roommate and get creative!

“My roommate had sex when I was in the room and I flipped over to give them privacy…and she asked if I wanted to join them.”

“My freshman year roommate was so obsessed with a man that she had coke in our room so that he wouldn’t get caught because people were coming to search his room… she wanted to sleep with this man so badly that she literally stored drugs for him because that was the only way that he wanted anything to do with her.”

“My freshman year roommate was literally getting a back massage from her boyfriend while I was in the room. Like her top was off and she was laying on her stomach and he was rubbing lotion on her while I was just sitting in my bed…on another occasion I looked over and his hands were literally in her pants while I was in the room.”

“Had a roommate who left her vibrator on her nightstand (our beds were 5 fucking feet away from each other) and sometimes I’d hear it at night.”

“She brought two huge guys home to share her twin bed with her… I woke up and they were just there.”

The Bat-Shit Crazy

Sometimes, we experience people that are so out-of-their-mind insane that the most you can do is say “What the fuck?” and walk away. Or file a restraining order.

“She got really mad that one of us used her pong table so she threw her full body mirror down the stairs and it shattered everywhere. I could hear her in her room manically giggling and saying she doesn’t care if we die. She left the glass shards there for days…”

“One regular Wednesday morning I was sitting at my desk when my roommate came into my room which had the sink. She began cutting her hair messily, barely leaving two strands as bangs. Soon after, I left to go to class. Upon my arrival back, I found strands of hair gifted to me on my desk not realizing it was a gift until she mentioned it. Weirded out, I went along with my day. That night, in my sleep, she managed to cut strands of my hair from my lofted bed. When my other roommate and I woke up, we found three strands of hair taped to the mirror with our initials written with hearts.”

“He would watch velociraptor furry porn on his computer that faced my bed and think I didn’t notice. Sometimes he would get excited watching it and shake really heavy in his chair and one time he did it so bad that he fell back in his chair and (he was really fat) he broke the fucking chair, I was trying so hard to not laugh.”

“Told her she couldn’t use my fake or any of my stuff anymore because she threw up all over my shirt that she stole from me and then she threatened to kill my dog and sue me.”

Miss Pearl

My personal favorite roommate horror story that is so unusual it doesn’t quite fit in any of the other categories.

“My sophomore year roommate experience: me and my close friend decided to live in a 4x4 townhouse with 2 randoms. One day random #1 mysteriously left so her room was vacant for about a month, and then one morning as I’m going downstairs to make breakfast I lock eyes with a literal grandma, bonnet and all. After calling the leasing office (because um update?) we find out Miss Pearl is our new roommate, and since her room was on the bottom floor with the common areas, we couldn’t host people at our place — and she would ALWAYS leave her bedroom door open, even at night. I would have to close it myself sometimes because she would fully stare at me from her bed anytime I used the kitchen, and when I brought people home after a night out I had to brief them in the Uber… so awkward.”

Look, you don’t have to be besties with your roommate. Feel free to hate your roommate to your heart’s desire, but handle it like a normal person and talk shit behind their back like everyone else.

At the end of the day, the most we can offer our roommates is courtesy and communication. Chances are, your roommate’s living standards are slightly different than yours. What may seem normal to you could be abnormal to them. If your roommate is locking you out of your room to have sex with her sneaky link, communicate that you have a problem with that. If you’re the roommate having sex, be courteous to your roommate and suggest a different location.

Of course, the “courtesy and communication” solution doesn’t apply to everything. If your roommate is watching velociraptor furry porn in front of you or cutting your hair in your sleep, get the eff out of there.

Vanessa Norris is a first-year journalism student at the University of Florida. She is an online writer for Rowdy Magazine and loves all things books, movies, television and pop culture.