Spilling the tea on butt-stuff.
( Charles Deluvio / Unsplash )
If the male g-spot, a powerful lil organ in your butt, is able to create some of the most intense orgasms ever, then why isn’t every straight guy into butt stuff? I mean if we are being honest, straight guys are disgustingly horny most of the time anyway, so it makes sense for them to be interested in such a magical part of themselves.
The answer, however, is actually quite simple: it’s just a bit too gay.
One of the greatest fears of any given straight guy is the fear of being demasculinized. With anal being the primary means of sexual intercourse for homos, many straights are automatically spooked when butt stuff enters the conversation. This fear is caused by their direct association of anal stimulation with anything and everything “gay”.
This ancient perspective is one that prevents straight men from completely exploring their bodies and increases the taboo nature of discussing sex and pleasure. However, though toxic masculinity definitely plays a large role in this stigma, the straights aren’t completely at fault.
Currently, the majority of male sex toys that are produced for prostate stimulation are advertised to a primarily gay audience. The very culture surrounding ‘butt stuff’ is one that is dominated by power bottoms around the world.
Straight men fear what they cannot understand and the same applies for their nether regions. From prep to finish, the entire process of butt play is one that men fear because not only is it ‘gay’ but its also just a completely foreign concept. Straight guys are so used to sticking their dicks in a hole and calling it a day that they don’t even stop for a second to consider what it’s like to be on the other side of things.
So, at this point you’re probs wondering “OK cool info, but how can I peg my boyfriend?”
And the answer, like almost every sexual act imaginable, is communication. The process of normalizing butt play is one that takes time and should be eased into, especially if you're new to the whole gig.
Begin by talking through your partner’s fears. Ask your man why exactly he gets so nervous every time your hands wander a little too far down when you're giving him head. By adding this layer of comfort, you are able to allow your boyfriend to let down his thick barriers of hetero-ness. Once you're able to have an open and honest conversation about incorporating new things in the bedroom, it becomes immensely easier to explore new outlets of pleasure with your partner.
When it comes to trying pegging for the first time, it is important to take things incredibly slow. While it can be an incredibly pleasurable experience, it’s vital to insure that both partners feel comfortable enough to continue.
With that said, the use of lubricants and toys becomes essential! It’s best to stick with a water-based lubricant, especially if you plan to incorporate a toy, such as anal beads or butt plugs.
It is absolutely VITAL to avoid any “numbing” lubes or any lubes that advertise themselves as pain-reducing. These lubes are fun at first but ultimately will leave you, and most importantly your partner, unaware that you may be overdoing it just a tad. Overall, the most important thing to keep in mind throughout the process of pursuing any new sexual activity is communication and consent!
Another thing to keep in mind throughout this new process is accidents happen and accidents are inevitable. Without getting too gross, just note that the best way to avoid a ‘stinky situation’ is to thoroughly prepare by using an enema or really any form of anal douching. However, in the instance that something happens to go south, it is important to keep calm in order to avoid making your partner feel like shit (pun intended).
Now with all that said, go ahead and stop by your local CVS, pick up that enema and bottle of Astroglide and peg your boyfriend out of his heteronormative ideologies.
Kyle Hamilton is an Online Writer for the 'After Dark' portion of Rowdy Magazine. In his free time he enjoys photography, being super gay, and drinking enough cold brew to kill a small child. You can find him at @hamkyl on insta ;)