Let’s not just talk about the toxic traits, let’s recognize some good ones too
(InertiaCreeps // Creative Commons)
Society is so focused on the negative, especially in relationships. We need to focus on "green flags," as opposed to just red flags, so we can notice healthy indicators in relationships and not only toxic ones. So what exactly are these mysterious green flags? Green flags show that your partner is emotionally available and the relationship is headed in a healthy direction, unless you’re dating a sociopath.
Much like red flags, green flags are typically right in front of our noses and are easy to ignore. The majority of men I discussed this topic with responded with something along the lines of “hmm... I wouldn’t know much about any of those…”. This 1. Speaks volumes about the men I am speaking to and 2. Poses an entire new question: is knowing you’re a red flag, actually a green flag? If anyone has a strong opinion regarding the matter, bang my line. Regardless of my messy dating life, here are some of my very own green flags I keep an eye out:
Treats the women/men in their life well (good relationship with sisters/mother, brothers/father etc.)
Does things that they know you like even if it is not their favorite activity (I.e going on a walk together)
Walking on the street side of the sidewalk when they are walking with you
Remembers when your exams /big events are
In touch with their feminine side (and masculine) (I.e they dance/dress well and take care of themselves)
Eye contact/not touching their phone excessively when you are together
Not having a social media presence
Low snap score (Trust me)
They ask you if you want to aux/ show a genuine curiosity in what your interested in
Eat fruits/vegetables
Nice to waiters/waitresses and people working service jobs (uber etc)
Texts/ FACETIMES/ Calls as opposed to Instagram DM/SnapChat
Only calls/facetimes you when they can devote the majority of their attention to you
Gives space when mingling with friends
Doesn't only ask about going out/tries to see you outside of the bar atmosphere
Similar music taste/doesn't exclusively listen to hardcore rap OR country
Isn't constantly bringing up their ex-partners or yours
Is able to say how they feel and can compassionately communicate and reciprocate feelings
Goes to therapy (so unrealistic)
Ambition/drive
Still friends with their high school friends
Thrifts
Willing to step outside their comfort zone with you (i.e trying new foods, going to different music events, hanging out with different groups of people)
Willing to hang out with your friends, not just their own
My particular list is solely based on my experiences, but I know you guys can relate; You know a keeper when you find one. These are just a solid list I look for in a guy that will tell me he is not in fact a serial killer, but rather an eligible bachelor.
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