What women want

We asked, You Answered: All Things Hookup Culture at UF

By: Savannah Darby

Credit: Getty Images

It’s no secret that we are living in a situationship epidemic. They just don’t make men like they used to anymore. It can be overwhelming trying to navigate the nuances of dating in the 21st century in an increasingly digital world. From dating apps to date functions, I don’t think I speak just for myself when I say, “How the hell are we supposed to actually connect with people these days?”

So, as your resident love doctor, I wanted to know your answers to our rowdiest questions about your own experiences with and opinions on the culture surrounding dating and hooking up in The Swamp. And what better way to do it than anonymously surveying female students at UF? Take this information as you will boys, it sounds like you need it.

Talking Stage Scaries

Let's start with your typical first date questions, all the surface-level bullshit you have to ask before you can get into any of the good stuff. It can be hard to know what exactly women are looking for in these crucial, yet monotonous, talking stages. So, I went straight to the source and asked for you.

“What do you look like?”

These are the top answers to women's preferred body type in a man they're with. Lets just say it looks like the gym grind is going to continue trending in 2025.

In all seriousness boys, you’re so much more than your body. That 6-pack won’t make up for your lack of personality, so please stop putting all your faith in it.

“What’s your major?”

Well, I asked the ladies what majors they’d be most hesitant to date and why. The results are in:

If you’re in comp sci, I’ve got some advice, but you didn’t hear it from me. Make sure to prioritize your real relationships over your online ones and practice good hygiene skills. If you're in business or finance, ditch the roster; and if you're in engineering, please get out of Marston and get some fresh air.

“Are you in a frat?”

If you are, be aware that there are definitely some judgements towards certain frats. So, of course, we asked girls which frat is the worst to spend the night in.

If you’re in pike reading this, stop the spiking. You're better than this.

“How tall are you?”

The taller the better, right?

Well, as the data shows, obviously if you’re over 5’ 11” (and not lying about it) you’re safe. But even if you’re not, there's someone out there for you. All that really matters is that you’re taller than the girl you want to take out when she’s in heels. If you’re a short king, just own it!

In Conclusion:

After carefully analyzing the data, I’ve come to the conclusion that these superficial things don’t actually matter to women! Keep reading and learn how to be the guy that’ll capture her heart with what really matters — a personality.

If you’re still confused, let me break it down for you.

The Dos and Don’ts of Attracting Women

Let me help you help yourself end the male loneliness epidemic with these easy to implement, and honestly bare minimum, tips and tricks.

Be a kind person. It’s easier said than done, but if you want to get a girl you can’t do it by being rude, disrespectful, or having bad manners.

Have a good sense of humor. Be authentically yourself, and don’t be afraid to be a little weird or corny. Girls love a funny guy and a good personality.

Take care of yourself. Invest in your sense of personal style, the music you listen to, the hobbies you have, and more. Then, you will have an easier time meeting somebody who is compatible. Also, if nothing else, keep good basic hygiene.

Don’t stay in contact with your ex. Nobody wants to be your rebound. Get back out there when you’re ready, not when you’re bored or horny.

Don’t prioritize your own self interest over that of the person you’re out with. Be an active listener and ask questions. Respect differences in opinion, be open to mature conversations, and show genuine interest in learning more about each other.

Now you know what to do to attract women, but do you even know how to talk to them in real life? No? I thought you might say that, so I’ve got you covered.

An (Almost) Foolproof Way to Pick Up a Girl

Say goodbye to the fumbling you’re used to, I’ve got all the details on how women want to be picked up. Listen and learn.

First, you’ve got the approach. Overwhelmingly, women prefer a man who is straightforward. If you see a girl and you want her number, be confident and ask her for it. Ditch the cheesy pickup lines, and opt for a little compliment.

Next, you’ve got the ask- as in what social media should you ask for? Whatever you do, don’t go for the snap! Bring back texting in 2025. 70% of girls said that men should ask for their number, with Instagram coming in second.

Finally, bring it home by planning a first date. Show up with some flowers, but something classy and unique because those dyed bouquets look cheap and cliche. Plan something cute and simple, like an activity or outing where you can get to know each other.

Need some recs for local spots? We’ve got you. Plan a cute picnic at Depot Park or Plaza, listen to some jazz at Baby J’s, spend some time in nature at the springs, or grab some food at 4th Ave and hit the thrifts. And if you’re wondering about sex on the first date, don’t; we’re leaving that in 2024.

Dating App Don’ts

In the era of parasocial relationships, which app gives you the best shot at finding the one? Ironically, most girls prefer to NOT use an app at all. Touch grass and talk to real people, and maybe you’ll be pleasantly surprised. If you’re not into that, check Hinge instead of Tinder. Trust me (and the 50% of girls who also said they prefer Hinge).

But, if you really want to find a girl on a dating app, here are some things to avoid.

Pickup Lines

Don’t be one of the guys who gets screenshotted and sent to YikYak, we can do better. No more overly sexually explicit openers, aka any iteration of "bounce on it" or fetishizing “alt” girls or girls on prozac…all real testimonials unfortunately. What happened to taking her out to dinner first? Bring back normal conversation starters like jokes or compliments, it’s the best game a guy can have.

Shitty Hookups

If you’re bringing her back to your place, you better know what you’re doing, or you’ll end up being a funny story sent to the groupchat – like these guys… All hookup horror stories from right here in Gainesville, might I add.

“After the club, a man got down on one knee and proceeded to hold his hands like he was giving a ring and said ‘pleaseeeeee let me hit’”

“...put his finger in my ass”

“Condom broke and he didn’t tell me until I found out and confronted him about it because a literal 2 inch piece fell out of me a whole week later.”

“...She hooked up with a guy once and he showed up at her apartment with flowers on Valentine’s Day. She did not tell him her address…”

So, what exactly should you be doing? The exact opposite of whatever it was those guys above were doing, and also by following the, very simple, instructions below.

Sex Tips Women Wish Men Knew

Foreplay is important- don’t rush things, it’ll be better for you if it’s better for her.

Use your resources, aka the internet, because if you can’t find the clit I promise google can show you.

Communicate! Sex doesn’t have to be a guessing game unless you make it one.

Spice things up and don’t be afraid to try new things, sex should be anything but boring.

If you’re wondering what position to try, it might be best to avoid reverse cowgirl though… at least that’s what 73% of women said was their least favorite.

And finally, don’t expect anything that you aren’t willing to reciprocate. Giving head doesn’t make you a munch, it saves you from showing up in articles like these in the “What Not to Do” sections.

If you’re worried about the old “size matters” saying, it doesn’t. That is, as long as you know what you’re doing with it, according to ⅔ of the girls we asked. Take notes on what I’m telling you and, more importantly, listen to what your partner is telling you so you can easily avoid becoming another tragic failed Hinge hookup.

If you made it to the end, consider me proud. Together we can take one step towards ending the situationship epidemic ravaging our generation. Happy hooking up!

Savannah Darby is a freshman majoring in Art History & Health Science because she has no idea what she wants to do for the rest of her life- so here she is writing articles to pass the time! She is currently infected by the situationship epidemic and hopes that the men reading this do actually take notes.